There are moments in your life that cannot be described in any way for people to believe them, one of those crazy once in a lifetime things that will make you smile inside and out and as a stripper there were many moments which you knew that if you told people they would fall off their chair.

Working in the Rhino I met loads of great characters who facilitated such moments and one of these people was Velvet, half the time you would meet a fellow dancer in the club and only remember their stage name, most girls had them to slip into role and then leave it behind at the end of the night.

Velvet was a husky voiced elegant tall Naomi Campbell lookalike, I didn’t know her age but when I met her she seemed like a wise, confident woman who had travelled a lot and had the gift of the gab, I was seduced and enjoyed hearing her tales of her time in New York.

Her time in New York included working in a strip club and moonlighting on the side as an S&M worker, and boy did she have stories like then one which required her to stand naked in the corner of the room for a guy who sat there with an empty gun pointed at her while sniffing copious amounts of cocaine. And they got better!

As an S&M worker she assured me she never slept with the customers just helped them to fulfil their out of the ordinary fantasies and got paid a lot of money in the process.

One evening Velvet and I were working and met a guy who had been on a boozy lunch, he was solo and was getting drunker by the minute, we could smell the money. Velvet was very tactical in her approach and soon we were having a giggle drinking champagne and not doing very much at all.

As time went on we had already been booked for a couple of hours for a sit down and Velvet managed to blag us in to our own private booth for 300 pound each per hour. We literally sat there doing very little except talking and laughing while Mr Customer became so sloshed he could barely stand up.

Soon Velvet had his tie around her neck and our clothes came off – briefly – just in time for the King of pop himself MJ to come on the sound system, the next thing you know we were moonwalking , or at least I was attempting to , naked to Billie Jean.

Imagine how funny it would have been to see some hammered city worker slumped in his booth, a big dreadlocked doorman on the entrance, a bucketful of champagne and two girls doing the naked moonwalk… not your usual work occurrence but my what a laugh!

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